Friendly reminder: worry is not the same thing as love. That’s why they are two different words.
No judgement here, just pointing it out. It’s pretty common to worry about things and loved ones. I do wonder though, why worry? What is at the root of it? Is it helpful? Does it lead to destructive or constructive thoughts, feelings, and actions?
I have heard the phrase “worrying is praying for that which you do not want” which tends to correlate with my opinion of it. My subconscious brain and nervous system might have other feelings at times though…
I have seen little kids are much more likely to get up after a fall when the adults worry less while at the same time acknowledging, with love, how the child is actually feeling. ie if they did get hurt or are scared, not bypassing it and pretending everything is ok. In some cases, perhaps worry is so extreme that shame and blame come in to play, it becomes the kid’s fault, and they must be punished or taught a lesson immediately.
Worry is complex to say the least.
I’ve done my fair share of worrying when I perceive others (and myself) to be struggling. When I didn’t know what else to do, I would say, “I’m really worried about you.” This would usually make them feel inadequate and totally invalidate what they were doing right as well as where they were in their process. It was when I realized exactly that: they were in their process that I could start dissolving the lens of struggle. Instead, I could choose to love them in their sacred–and very necessary–growth.
After all, what life-form doesn’t flail about as it’s sprouting, pushing up through the soil, budding, and even blossoming? Sometimes the hardest to see is the decaying phase, but even that is beautiful in its own way and very worthy of love.
How about you? What’s your relationship to and experiences with worry? How do you bring more love forth?